Letters from Sevastyan [Dark Future]

[Sevastyan has composed several letters since his elopement to Amaranth Viper in the event he passes before she does, owing to the threat of purger attack. These letters are written by this author as though spoken to the loved one(s) left behind, as they have been enchanted to do so. Each new revision or addition will have its own post.]

((First letter up takes place in the weeks just prior to Lara's birth))


“Dear Amaranth,

I honestly have no idea how to go about this. Our life together is only starting, but vith Dmitri’s death back in December I guess I’m just being cautious. The entire Kaminski Clan is on the List of the Damned, and since Dmitri vos the eldest of three... vell... forgive me to say this but I am terrified it is a sign that I am the next target, since I am the eldest of a set of three. Russia is sometimes a land of omen and superstition, as I’m sure you’ve learned in speaking vith my family.

Our family, I should say... I’m still trying to get accustomed to the fact that you accepted my name. People still call you ‘Viper’ in the hallvays... and I vouldn’t have it any other vay. Marriage should not be a loss of identity. It is almost hard to believe that in a few months ve vill be parents. I only hope I’ll be a suitable father... I’ve heard people comment about you being a mother, but I ignore them: the vay you glow vith happiness in carrying our child tells me you vill be an excellent mother. I know you are nervous about it... You vill be fine.

Speaking of vich, it is for you and our baby that I’ve taken the time to write this... though at the moment I’ve told you I am grading and commenting on essays. If you’re reading this, then I’ve more than likely left this vorld for votever comes next in life. I’m sorry to have made you a vidow before ve even had very many years together. I just couldn’t leave you as vone of the statistics of single mothers out there in the vorld, and tried to do right by asking you to marry me. I vill be vaiting for you on the other side, but please do not rush. I am a patient man, and vant you to live your life as though I am alvays right there beside you... for I am, in spirit at least, vith you alvays. Let our baby know I love him or her, too.

I vant to leave you my inheritance upon the death of my parents, as stated in the Last Vill and Testament found in the secret compartment on my side of our dresser. Vhile they have yet, as far as I know, to vonce again proclaim me the rightful heir to Kaminski Manor, I vant you to fight Grigoriy for it if you desire the estate. Do vot you think is right. There are many old tomes on the property I vant you to have that he should not mind parting vith. You’ll know vich vones they are: they pertain to our subjects and interests... and yes, I realize this is nearly the entire library, but I believe ve have copies of some of them – in English – in our own collections at our chambers and in Viper Manor respectively. Although... I doubt you vill have problems vith him. He has been a little different of late...

Vell... I should vind this up. I need to help you vith something, by the sound of my name echoing through our chambers. Either that or it is a craving... alvays interesting combinations, I might add. The phials near this note are copies of a few of my fondest memories of us, for you to view venever you are in need of a good smile. And if our son or daughter ever asks about me... there are some here he or she can view. I recommend against post-concert March 9th, however, for obvious reasons.

Я люблю тебе! [I love you!]

Sevastyan.”

((Sevastyan's first revision, with Letters to Lara and a not-yet-born Demyan))



“Моя Дорогая [ma-YA da-ra-GA-ya; My Darling],

Here I am again, thinking about vot could very vell be my impending death. If you found my previous letter ven ve vere expecting sveet little Lara, then you’ll know vot I’m basically trying to say. I didn’t get rid of the previous letter because... vell... I vanted to leave you vith a chronology of sorts, I suppose. That and I couldn’t see fit to discard a few of my newlyved comments. Turns out I vosn’t the next target on the Kaminski family tree. Lucky, no? And, as far as I’m concerned, I think ve are both doing vell as parents.

I suppose you are vondering how I’m writing these letters vithout you knowing? My answer this time is simple, and not a deception: you are asleep by my side, vith Lara curled betveen us. The both of you look so peaceful... You, Amaranth, are glowving vith that same joy as you did ven expecting Lara. Our second child is two months along. Hold on just a second – Lara’s blanket slipped... There ve go. I didn’t vant to panic you the first time I wrote a letter like this, hence vy I vos less than truthful vith you about it.

My desires from the previous letter are unchanged, (with the exception of the obvious anti-Grigoriy statements, unless you desire the manor then by all means fight to co-own the estate) though my love for you has grown so much. It pains me to think I might be forced to be separated from you and Lara, but vith our families’ reputations it’s something ve need to think about. In the event something does happen to me before my time, you vill have this to look back on and – as in my last letter – I vill be vaiting for you, no matter how long it takes. I vant to vatch you grow old, even if it is vith somevone else so that the children von’t be lacking a father figure, than see you take your life just to be vith me. Ve have our daughter and our new baby (ve aren’t sure if ve’re having a daughter or a son) to think about. They’ll need you now more than ever.

Speaking of the children, enclosed vill be a few more letters: vone for Lara, and vone for the Baby. Should they ever vonder if I think about them often, give or read to them their letters. And yes, I vill think of all of you – alvays – from vherever I am be it Heaven or Hell... or somevhere in betveen.

I should stop writing now and get some sleep... Lara seems to love vaking us up and I vouldn’t vant to disappoint her by being too tired to cooperate. Not to mention you are stirring a bit restlessly in your sleep. I hope you are alright... As before, if you need a smile there is an assortment of phials vith this letter. A few have been added since then, I assure you – including the birth of our darling daughter. I hope you enjoy them, and that I didn’t leave anything out.

Love Alvays,
Sevastyan”


- - - - - - - - - - - -


“Самый сладостный Lara, [Sweetest Lara]

I know you cannot yet read, being two – nearly three – years old, but Daddy vanted to write to you anyvay. At this moment you are fast asleep betveen Mummy and I. I don’t recall if you had a nightmare or if this vos simply a special event... knowing how clever you are, I’d say you claim nightmare but it’s really an excuse to be close to us. Regardless, know that it brings a smile to my face.

If you’re reading this, or having Mummy read it to you, then I must have failed somevhere in the attempt at being a father. No, no, I don’t mean that ve split up... You are really too young to understand vot all is going on. Either vay... Daddy is no longer able to be near you. Long story short, some bad people came after me. Mummy vill explain as you get older. I love you both so much.

Vere you vanting a brother or a sister? You vill be getting vone or the other very soon. I regret to say it may have been vone of the last gifts I vos able to give to you and your mother. It vill be your job to take care of them, now that I’m gone.

I vish every vone of your days to be filled vith happiness. Yet, at the same time, you must know that vishing does not alvays mean receiving. I left Mummy vith some memories of some of our best times as a couple and ven you vere born. All you need to do is ask her (nicely!) to see them. Vhether you go through them in need of a smile or just because, I hope you enjoy them.

Be Happy and Healthy!

Vith Much Love,
Daddy”


- - - - - - - - - - - -


“Baby... Demyan...

I am sorry I do not know your name or gender yet, my son or daughter, at the time this letter vos written. If Mummy is reading this to you, then something has happened and I can’t be vith you anymore. I know it’s difficult to understand... Merlin, you’re probably not even able to talk yet! Please know that for votever time vos given me in vaiting for you, I have loved you. I only vish I could’ve been there, at your birth. And ven you vere born, I loved you even more, if such a thing is possible.

I know Mummy vill be able to provide for you, yet I still vish you days of smiles and happiness. Babies tend to have short attention spans, so I von’t aggravate your mother by giving her a long letter I know you von’t sit still for.

Be Happy and Healthy!

Vith Much Love,
Daddy


- Added April 15th 2022 -
You vill be Vizard of the House ven I am gone... you’ll need to vatch after Mummy and your sistra vonce you’re able to do so. Until then, do the best that you can and make sure they smile at least vonce a day.


Be Happy and Healthy!

Vith Much Love,
Daddy”

((Second Revision... written in December, around Lynn's expected arrival))


“Dearest Amaranth,

I’m very vorried leaving all of these letters vill only make you more depressed upon my death, yet I cannot bring myself to destroy the earlier versions of this letter. Ve have survived another two years, nearly three... and you are pregnant vith our third child! I’m half expecting this vone to be a New Year’s baby... The due date is any time now... and as vith our last two I am anticipating your call to let me know our baby is on the vay vith a mixture of excitement and vorry for the safety for both you and our newest addition to the family.

Please know that no matter how old ve vill get, you vill alvays look young and beautiful to me... more beautiful than ven I married you, in fact, if that is at all possible. I love you and our children so very much. I don’t know vot I vould do if I ever lost any of you...

I’ve added a few more memories to the phials... been having a hard time choosing vich memories to keep and vich vones to let slip. I’m certain ve both vouldn’t vant to miss a thing. I’ve taken to marking vich vones are family-friendly and vich vones are more personal. You’ll recognize the symbols.

As the usual vith these letters, if you’ve found them then I am gone (or the threat of purgers is gone and I’m still vith you). In event of the former... ven looking to the memories I’ve left for you, try to smile for me, von’t you? Or, if not for me, then for the children. As stated before: they vill need you more than ever now.

Updated letters avait Lara and Demyan... and a copy of Demyan’s first letter is meant for our third little vone... edited for the arrival of a little girl. It’s just a feeling I get. If ve have a son, though... vould you please spell the letter to make it appropriate before he reads it? I can only imagine how embarrassing it vould be to be mistaken for the opposite gender...

Please do not despair. At least, vhere I am now, there is no pain. No fear... no constantly looking over my shoulder for the first sign of trouble. I am at peace. It is hell, the thought of living... or votever life after death is... vithout you and the children. But I vill be vaiting until the day ven ve are all reunited vonce more. Do not cut your lives short: I vant to vatch you enjoy every minute of every day that you can!

I’ll love you even until after my last breath!
Sevastyan”

- - - - - - -

“Darling Lara,

Vow... my little girl is already five years old! You’re getting so tall – soon you’ll be towvering over your babushka! And your letters in English and Cyrillic are coming along vell! Keep up the good vork, Я любимая [My sweetheart]! Mummy and Daddy are proud of you!

Speaking of Daddy... if you are reading this – or asking Mummy to – then it means something has happened and I cannot be vith you anymore. Some bad people have been searching for us, and they apparently have found me. I’m so sorry. It vos not my intent to leave you. Please know I vos only trying to protect you, your mother, and Demyan.

At this moment, you are asleep in my arms after a long day of playing in the snow vith me and a few friends. I do not vish to alarm any of you vith these sad thoughts, so I usually write ven everyvone is sleeping. Just now I had to tell a little vhite lie to your mother about writing this letter. I love you all so much.

Do Daddy a favor and keep smiling and being happy, okay? I know it vill be hard to start out vith, but it vill get better vith time. I promise. To help you, I’ve left some memories vith Mummy for all of you to look through ven you need a little bit of sunshine amidst the storms of life. There is a special collection of memories ven you vere just born I think you might like. Mummy and Daddy held you qvite often and took you everyvhere vith us.

Love you alvays!
Daddy”

- - - - - - -

“For Demyan:

My son... I know you can yet barely read, but I vanted to leave you vith something in the event I am not vith you as you grow into vot I hope vill be a fine young vizard. I’m sorry I’m stricter vith you than vith Lara, but know that I do so out of love. If your Mummy is reading this to you, then I am also sorry for failing you as a father. Some bad people saw fit to take me avay from you all, never to return. But I vill be vatching over the four of you: you, Mummy, Lara, and the baby on the vay, whom ve have yet to name. However, ve do know you’ll be getting another sister.

Protect them as vell as you can. It is vy I am no longer here, but you shall succeed vhere I failed. You come from a clever family – a union of two Old Clans. It is a blessing, and a curse. Ven you reach adulthood you vill be hunted by a group known as the purgers, unless they can be gotten rid of before you reach that age. They know vot they’re doing and vill stop at nothing to kill all those close to you, Demyan. Have Mummy teach you the spell our ancestor, Igor Kaminski, created in Russia. It is a Dark Spell ven you use it on others for no reason. Ven used in self defense, that is another story.

I know you are too young as of yet to know this... hopefully Mummy vill skip this part until you are ready.

Just know that I am proud of and love you very much, even though there are times vhere I might not have alvays shown it.

Love you alvays.
Daddy”

- - - - - - -

“Baby... Lynn...

If Mummy is reading this to you, then something has happened and I can’t be vith you anymore. I know it’s difficult to understand... Merlin, you’re probably not even able to talk yet, still being in the vomb! Please know that for votever time vos given me in vaiting for you, I have loved you. I only vish I could’ve been there, at your birth. And ven you vere born, I loved you even more, if such a thing vere possible.

I know Mummy vill be able to provide for you, yet I still vish you days of smiles and happiness. Babies tend to have short attention spans, so I von’t aggravate Mummy by giving her a long letter I know you von’t sit still for.

Be Happy and Healthy!

Vith Much Love,
Daddy”

[The era of this letter is during Sevastyan and Viper’s separation. While not shown here, there are tearstains upon the parchment – betraying evidence of what he’d intended to be a silent agony. His intent was to burn this revision (and the next that follows) upon being reunited with Viper, but he never gets the chance between life in general and fearing the reunion with his wife wouldn’t last.]


“Я скучаю по тебе... [ya sku-CHA-yu ti-BYE; I miss you]

I don’t know vot to say, let alone if you vould listen to me... For all I know, these vords vill meet flame vithout even being read by you, and probably the earlier vones too. But I have to try. If you are reading this then I am dead. I von’t beat around the bush about it. You’re probably thankful to be rid of me, anyvay... after vot vos said and done. I’m hoping you vill set our differences aside and be a mother to our children for however long you can. A long shot, I know, considering you held no interest in doing so the day you left us... But they vill not have anyvhere else to go if purgers attack the manor, and I am killed. Vould you curse them solely because of me?! They do not hate you! I do not hate you!

I’ve never hated you...

I’m so sorry for the vay I acted that morning. I vos just... I don’t know how to explain. First everything vos fine, then you started avoiding me, then you told me about... him... and our baby... Vot vos I supposed to think? It felt like an ultimatum – like you vere replacing me. It is foolish, I know... I thought there vos something I did wrong and that vos vy you sought another. In a vay, I guess that is true... I’m sorry. Vy did you say nothing about it? Ve could have tried to vork it out... I vosn’t trying to push you avay vith my presence and affection. I am... vos?... your husband, for Merlin’s sake!

I vos only trying to do as I had vowed to... to love, and to cherish... Only to **** everything up!

Ve all miss you here. Lynn for a time vos under the impression you vent to the store and vill come home vith candy. Demyan is... vell... I honestly can’t say because he’s not talking much, sticking primarily to his animagus form. And Lara... she has her moments. Vhile I really do not matter, I feel as though a large part of me has been ripped out and filled vith a void of nothingness. If I could take our whole argument back, I vould. I’ve only ever vanted you... but it seems you do not need me. Perhaps you never have needed me... I haven’t heard from you in so long. My heart yearns for your return, and vith each passing day its vish is left unfulfilled... I do not care if you think your genes defective: I still love you, and it von’t stop me from loving you!

Since I am dead by the time you are reading this, take vot you vill of my inheritance. I vant the children to have something from my side of the family, no matter how small it may be. Vot I vant and vot is done are two different things, I know... I have no care as to vot happens to my body after I’m gone, vith the stipulation of not being made an inferius. Cremation vould be fitting – I’ll probably be going to Hell, and vatching as flames destroy the fact I ever even lived vould probably be ... therapeutic...

I’m sorry... That is rather morbid and pessimistic, I know... And hopefully not at all true. Please forgive me. I... have not been in a very good place lately. If it is true... vell... then this message vos written in vain, but at least some of my heart’s bleeding is eased.

I know at vone point you spoke of me finding somevone else... but I can’t. I just can’t... I’m still trying to come to terms vith this. You meant – and still mean – the vorld to me... even though our last conversation did nothing to prove that point. If ve didn’t have the children... you vould be receiving this letter before the ink could dry. They are the only thing that have kept me alive this long. They are all, it seems like, that I’m living for. Vithout them... vot am I, now that ve are torn apart?

Помни обо мне [PO-mni A-ba MNYE; Remember me]
S.”

- - - - -

“Lara, Demyan, and Lynn:

I know the past few months have... not been the greatest of times. There are a lot of things I vish vere different, most of them my own mistakes. Please know that despite my occasional outbursts of temper that I love the three of you more than anything. It is vy I’m no longer vith you, or the scenario I hope is the reason vy I’m no longer vith you: Daddy has given his own life to protect the three of you. I’m so sorry I didn’t make it... know that it vosn’t my intent to die. It’s just how it happened. I’ve asked Mummy to take care of you. But... if you find yourselves alone, go to either Aunt Sveta, Babushka, or the Addams or McConn houses. They vill help you, I promise.

If you look at past letters I’ve left to you and your mother, there is a box of memories I vould like the three of you to have. Enjoy them vhenever you need a smile. And please... do not hate your mother and I too much... Vhile it seems that ve don’t love each other anymore, ve love the three of you vith all our hearts. Vherever you go after my death, the three of you must behave yourselves, okay?

Lara: Please know that your mother is not the vone to blame. It vos me that vos the problem, sveetheart. I know you are angry, but please set it aside. Life is much too short for you to go on vith so much anger. Try to smile for me as though ve are together, joking and playing, like before things vent crazy...

Demyan: I know vitnessing Mummy and Daddy’s fight vos terrible, and I’m sorry. But you should probably talk vith somevone about these things. You can’t alvays turn into a snake ven life’s problems are overvhelming... If you von’t do this for me, then do this for your mother... She vould not vant to see you like this.

Lynn: My little butterfly, you’re growing up so fast. Know that you brighten the days of all you encounter. Do not let your heart be troubled by my passing: continue on as though I am right there beside you, cheering you on in all of your accomplishments!

I love you all so much, and am proud of each of you for your own qvalities.
Health and Happiness in these dark times
Daddy”

[This letter is written in a much darker style, but is also uneven as though the author were more than a little intoxicated at the time. Also, the ink is a darkened crimson. Upon closer inspection, one will find that it was written in Sevastyan’s own blood. It was his intent that when he and Viper got back together to burn this letter and the previous revision, not wanting this dark time to be at the forefront of Viper’s mind. These past two letters were for him to vent his thoughts onto paper. Sevastyan never got the chance to burn these letters due to life in general, and from fear that his being reunited with Viper wouldn’t last.]

“Ты нуҗна мне... [ty nu-ZHNA MNYE; I need you]

Despite seeing our children every day, I am more alone than I think I have ever been in my life. True, family and friends check in on the children and I... yet it is not the same. Vy vere you so qvick to forsake us? Vy vos I not good enough?! Do you blame me for the miscarriage? As you said, vonce it happened you didn’t have anything to do vith me... or the children... Perhaps I vill never know. Ve haven’t spoken or even seen each other in veeks. I’m so sorry I got you pregnant vhile you vere on your potion therapy... I know apologies aren’t enough, but vot more am I supposed to do?!

Though it surely means little now, nor am I vorthy of forgiveness, but I am also sorry for vot I said and did that morning... I vould take it all back if it meant ve’d be together again. I am lost vithout you... and apparently a monster. Lara nearly ran avay from home because I’d yelled at her... Demyan is scared out of his vits of me and still von’t surface from his animagus form for very long... Lynn is the only vone not valking on eggshells, yet she too grieves just like the rest of us. I didn’t vant the children to be as miserable as I am, and I’ve ****ed that up, too! They are so miserable... Everything is going to Hell!

Speaking of Hell, that is probably vhere I am now. If you’re reading this, then I am dead. Do NOT bring me back, or even try. Just let me go... you had no problem in doing so before. Much as I love our children, I don’t vant to come back if it means a life vithout you. I can’t raise them alone... They are in your hands now. Maybe you could persvuade Victor to accept them, and the two of you could raise them as a proper family unbroken by votever it vos that ultimately broke us...[*]

I feel another slap coming on for that... if I vere alive I vould velcome it... anything from you vould be velcome about now. Mutilate my corpse for such a comment if it makes you feel any better... I am dead – I von’t really care vot happens to that shell of a body now.

Yes, I am wrote ven I drunk this...

Everything hurts so much... And lately I lash out at the nearest thing ven vounded. Forgive me, if it is not too much to ask. The vizard I vonce vos is lost. I can’t go back... I suppose Grigoriy vos right, although it vos just a dream some nine years ago: The Dark Arts vos my calling all along.

I have failed all of you... my vife... my children... even my family and friends... and for that I am sorry.”

[There are several blood drops at the end of the page, and Sevastyan’s signature is deliberately missing.]


[* This is before the Victor/Sevastyan confrontation, obviously, rofl]

[Sevastyan's last revision before he dies...]


“Dear Amaranth...

If you are reading this... I svear it’s my last revision. I svear it is my last because ve are back together... and because if you’re reading this then it means I’m no longer vith you. I’m so sorry. I don’t know vot to say... Please disregard the letter written in blood if it is still there. I vos in a very bad place... drunk, and in agony. I didn’t think you’d come back to me, and that itself vos vone of many hells on earth...

The box of memories I’ve left for you hasn’t grown much since our... time apart. There just vosn’t much happiness here, not to mention most of the memories vould be clouded by vodka. And... there are a few things I did I vosn’t very proud of. I don’t vant to leave you vith a record of sadness in an already dark time. Your smiling face is vot I’d rather see... from vherever I am sent after this life. I’m sorry the residue from my delving into the Dark Arts didn’t come off from my eyes. I just needed something to fill in the void... an attempt in vain. I... may I assume you know vot that feels like? To feel so empty and vant nothing more than to not feel the pain of that hole in vone’s life?

Seeing you back home makes me feel complete vonce again. It is an awkvard time right now, but just knowing you are nearby is slowly mending the shattered pieces of my heart. I... I don’t know how to act around you, I’ve found. I vant you so much, but it still feels too early to really be that intimate again. I can see in your eyes you feel the same vay, yet I don’t like feeling as though I’m making you vait because of my own issues... I... feel inadeqvate... Not as sure of myself... And even still, ven I approach you as ve vatch the children play you run from me. I try to give you space, yet I still feel as though I’m intruding upon you.

I’m sincerely trying to curb my drinking – honest! I’ve not become a vorthless drunk... Please believe me. Ven the children get older, please tell them I’m so sorry for being less than alert during parts of this time in their lives.

My vishes still stand, both here and in my Vill: I vant you to have my share of the inheritance, and to fight Grigoriy for your rightful ownership of items and property if he tries to sell you and Sveta short. Vhile he seems to have grown up, and I’ve forgiven him... I still cannot say I vould trust him vith my life. That duty I vould relegate to you, for you already hold my heart.

I love you and the children more than vords can ever express.

Sevastyan”